The Voice of My Soul...

What's on my mind this morning? The voice of my soul. Have you ever had this overwhelming feeling or thought that there is something you truly need in your life? Something that would benefit you and provide a resource within yourself that would allow you to live more fully? And you can even see it and what it would take to do it (or not do it - in the case that rest or retreat is what you need)? And sometimes you can almost get yourself there, but often times you make excuses or just ignore it all together or feel guilty that you would want to take time for yourself when your family (or your work) has so many needs? That feeling, that thought, that crying out for attention and TLC is the voice of the soul. This is a deep longing, not of frivolous stuff. I'm talking about a deep longing or hunger - something that alerts you to a need that won't necessarily come with a quick fix. It's a need that didn't appear overnight and therefore, it will require serious attention.

I haven't written one of these posts in quite a while and it's because I have been struggling, or rather wrestling, with my soul in an area (probably more than one) that needed attention. I've discovered that when there is a lack of clarity or I'm feeling confused, I tend to overthink a LOT!! I've been re-reading a book by John Ortberg called “Soul Keeping” which has given me insight into learning how to quiet the ‘noise’ that distracts me, and focus on caring for the deepest part of me - the part that allows me to do everything else I do - the soul and what God is speaking to me through it.

This past week during my drive time for Thanksgiving, I was able to give quite a bit of thought and prayer to where I am in this area of struggle, where I'm going and most importantly, what my soul is telling me. I am learning to pay attention and listen to what the deepest part of me is asking of me and then watch for how God is partnering in that work. The struggle/wrestling for me has been in the area of physical wellness. It's been 7 weeks since I did any intentional movement and months since I've had a regular routine. Each passing week there would be this inner voice wondering “when? - today? tomorrow? How long before you take care of this?” As you might expect, I did what came naturally, what had become habit - I ignored it. Then, I was challenged to notice it, pay attention to it, honor it and what has unfolded has been me accepting what is, taking initiative, seeing what God is doing in this area and responding to it. Since I've been paying closer attention, I shared my struggles with a good friend and she asked if I'd like to be her work out buddy - YES! She had just been waiting for me to figure it out - amazing! We will begin our work together soon, but today - TODAY, I did my own workout! It was good - it felt good - it was hard enough but a gentle ease back into it - and it was a beautiful response to what my soul and God are calling me to do - take care of myself and honor what is within me.

I don't know what you are struggling with, but know that your soul is a gift and it will ask for what it needs - listen - pay attention. Honor what is within and ask God to help you reach down deep and discover what work is needed to allow you to live more abundantly.

Thank you, Lord, for NEVER giving up on me. For showing me what will help me care for myself and honor you in the process. I'm thankful for the ways you provide for me. I thank you for inspiring me to move today - the voice of my soul says “YES! This! Thank you! More, please!”