“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

What's on my mind this morning? My favorite quote: "Comparison is the thief of joy!" Let that thought sink in for a minute - Comparison is the thief of joy… Almost the very moment we compare ourselves to another (or vice versa), we have missed the joy of the present moment or person or event or ______. Comparing is something we all do and it can rob us of our joy. 

I have found that movement opens me up to ideas, connections, and a lot of truth about myself, so I tend to draw from that experience. This morning in our bootcamp warm-up, at one point we were invited to do walkouts. A walkout is when you have your feet close together, you bend down, touch the ground in front of you and walk out to a plank position and then walk back to your feet and stand back up... then repeat...five times total today. As soon as I hear the words 'walkout' the internal groan starts up and it triggers a feeling of struggle - this is a hard movement for me. It takes determination and a lot of effort. It doesn’t take long for everyone else in our class to finish and now I notice that THEY have finished and are moving on and here I am still working on number 2, and THEY have now finished the next set of things, and I am working on number 3, and so on… All the while I’m thinking about how everyone else is doing. I’m not being me, Tracy, doing her warm-up so she can be prepared for her workout. Nope, I’m stuck in comparison mode and it is self-defeating and humiliation-producing and quite honestly soul-sucking. This shift from ‘being glad to be in the gym this morning' to ‘look at how far behind I am’ didn’t take very long. 

Let me just stop here and say that I’m learning that movement is a way to move past the comparison. The chemical changes in the body and mind as a result of exercise help me move past that comparison moment and into the workout. But, the key is in sticking with it. I didn’t walk away or pout (well, maybe a little) or get in my car and go home. I stayed and did what I could do. I did Tracy! I did ME! These feelings of comparison have been coming up the entire time I’ve been working in the gym - especially since this is a group class. These feelings have diminished little by little over the months, but there is still a remnant lurking around.  I’m determined to get there.

This idea of comparison is rampant in our culture. We, in many ways, are actually expected to be like everyone else. Right?! We measure ourselves and others by some standard that has been chosen by some unnameable person who sets a trend or decides how we should live our lives, or what we should wear, or how we should look, or how we should act. What that does not account for is the one and only, unique YOU!

Finding joy, true joy, in being ME, is foreign to many people. We have become a society that does not celebrate uniqueness, we celebrate ‘sameness.’  How boring is that?! What if we got to the place where we truly accepted ourselves, just as we are, and entered into full living with all that we are? And what if to do that, it also meant that we started accepting everyone else, and made space for THEM to live fully into all of who they are?  Wow - JOY!!

I’ve been working lately on ‘what’s next’ for me and in my prayer time, I’ve been wanting God to assure me of what I’m doing. I recognize that I am a co-creator with God, but I’ve been discounting my own contribution (comparing myself to God - HA!). In my last session with my Spiritual Director, I had an ah-ha moment and said “If I truly believe that I am a co-creator with God (that we are collaborators), then that means what I bring to the table is as valuable and important as what God brings. Not to discount Sovereign God, but to truly believe we are equally yoked - working in tandem - not one without the other.” This idea of mutuality - meaning that ‘we (both) bring all that we have and all that we are’ to the table - is about living a life where we bring our full selves and what WE have, not what someone else has or is…just us, and walk alongside God, who brings an amazing abundance of love and provision to the table as our unshakable partner in life. Now THAT my friends, is JOY - PURE JOY!  We don’t need to compare ourselves to anyone else when that is our primary relationship. And, we can live into the fullness of who God has created us to be. The ONE and ONLY us. The world needs each one of us, and what we bring; that what was born in us is why we were created in the first place. 

I don’t know what comparisons you make on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s with: the co-worker who always seems to get ahead or have an amazing presentation, the singer who gets all the solos, the guy/girl who always gets the date, the person whose book is doing better than yours, the family that looks like it has it all together, the post that only shows the successes of a person… 

My encouragement to you today is to catch yourself when you start comparing yourself to others, or them to yourself (like, they aren’t as good, smart, pretty, fit, as I am), and pay attention to the important person, thing, or moment that you are missing by diving into the comparison fray. Stop - Breathe in - Breathe out - look around. The comparison is just some noise, a distraction from what really is. Stay in the present and at some point that voice of comparison will come to realize it no longer has a hold on you - no power. Then, you can begin to live into who YOU are, unique YOU, the one and only YOU, the God-purpose just for YOU.  And NOTHING, my friend, can compare with that!!

God, thank you for comparing us to NO ONE else. Thank you for helping me to stay at the gym today until the noise dropped away. Help me to realize that it’s a process and I’m worth it!  Help us, your beloved children, live into the uniqueness of who you’ve created us to be by letting go of our tendency to compare ourselves with others. And, help us to be in the present moment to witness the uniqueness in others and encourage it in them. Grant us wisdom, grant us courage… In your holy name I pray.  Amen. 

Love and peace…Tracy